


Komorebi

by Rosegoldeneyes



Series: Operation: Valentine's Day [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, No Smut, Not A Fix-It, Post-Episode: s13e05 Advanced Thanatology, Sorry Not Sorry, TFW fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 15:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17790404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosegoldeneyes/pseuds/Rosegoldeneyes
Summary: The sky is a universal canvas painted with shining declarations of love, but darkness is the cruelest clean slate of them all.





	Komorebi

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of Operation: Valentine's Day aka Operation: Ashley Is Two Faced. Mind the tags but enjoy reading!

The neon cross bathes Dean’s face in an eerie blue light, his eyes reflecting the glow but only fixated on the tan figure in front of him, barely illuminated by the shine. The world seems to click back into place as Dean throws his arms around Cas, the tilted axis straightening and making the hunter feel that everything is okay. For this one, precious, rare moment enveloped in the firm arms of his best friend, everything is okay. And then Sam rushes in and tackles the both of them to the ground in happiness, the smack of the pavement against Dean’s ribs buried under the warmth of his smile.

 

“Cas! I can’t believe it! You—you’re alive and here and—” Sam breaks off as Dean shoves them both away with a laugh, all three laying on the ground in varying degrees of pain. “How did you get back?”

 

The gruff voice is music to the elder Winchester’s ears, and he savors the words like fine wine.

 

“That’s not important, Sam. I’m just glad I’m back with you and Dean and—where’s Jack? Surely you didn’t leave a baby in the car?” Cas tilts his head after asking, the look of innocence and hesitant hope almost childlike. 

 

Dean throws his head back in a laugh and hauls himself up, wincing as gravel digs into his palms. Offering a helping hand to Cas, he shakes his head. “Jack is a teen, Cas. He looks about eighteen or nineteen? Must be some weird Nephilim mojo. He’s an… interesting kid. But Cas, damn! I needed a win. I needed this. We should go celebrate. Ya know, after we test you.”

 

Brandishing a silver knife, the hunter gently takes Cas’s arm and holds on a little too long after making the cut. Under the night sky and the artificial light, it feels surreal until Sam clears his throat to remind them of his presence. 

 

“Guys, there’s a route back to the bunker that takes us through White River National Forest… why don’t we spend a day hiking and fishing? We can spend the day there tomorrow and be on the road by tomorrow night. All Jack’s doing is binging Netflix, so he’s good for roughly the next ten years.”

 

Dean and Cas glance at each other, and the angel hugs Sam tight before thumping his back lightly. “That sounds great Sam, I’d like to spend a day with you guys.” 

 

Dean notices the sad tone and hidden glimmer within those ocean eyes, but ignores it. Just one day, and then he will worry about his friend. Just one day of perfection and then shit can hit the fan. “I’m down. Cas, I’m guessing you’re not tired? Sam and I just got a few hours so we can start driving and get there in time for the sunrise. Whaddya think?”

 

A hesitant smile spreads across Cas’s face, and with a nudge from Sam they all climb into the Impala and drive in peaceful silence to the sound of “Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx”. 

 

As dawn approaches, Dean pulls the car into a worn path winding through trees, windows rolled down to get the fresh air scented ever so slightly with pine. The forest surrounds a tiny dirt parking lot, where the boys pack up backpacks with water and knives, and head off to where the GPS said a small hill was. The hike is brutal in the darkness, but Dean manages to get away with one scraped knee and one pissed-off angel with a slightly ripped trench coat.

 

Finally, they settle on a rock outcropping and spread blankets out, watching as the dark sky turns shades of grey and then pink. The clouds create a swirling pattern of orange, pink, and a beautiful lilac that reminds Dean of a painting they once saw at the Roadhouse. Jo denied it to her last breath, but painting was her passion—close to hunting, but not quite as strong. It’s fitting somehow, to have this reminder of what could have been while sitting next to what could possibly be.

 

Cas’s expectant gaze pierces through him like a sunbeam, and he shakes his head to clear it. 

 

“What? Did you say something?” Dean asks. 

 

“Sam asked if you want to go hike and search for a good fishing spot.”

 

“O-oh yeah let’s head out in a bit… just want to enjoy this a bit more. We don’t get this kinda peace that much.”

 

Dean sees Sam and Cas talking quietly, but it doesn’t matter. The fishing poles are folded up in his backpack, the Impala is safe, and Dean feels content. This is what Heaven should be like. This  _ is _ Heaven—well on Earth, that is. 

 

They make their way to a small lake laughing the whole way, as Sam and Dean catch Cas up with what’s been happening. They subtly avoid mentioning Jack, as it’s still a sore subject for Dean and Cas deserves to make his own opinion about his… pseudo-son? Adopted son? Nephew? Dean is so tired of angel family rankings at this point. He can’t even keep track of which archangel is the oldest, let alone this convoluted family tree.

 

The lake is a beautiful deep turquoise, which launches Cas into a story about the creation of Crater Lake that Sam listens to with rapt attention. Dean, however, is only focusing on the chapped lips forming his carefully chosen words, the tanned hands gesturing in the clear air, and the waving sleeves of the trench coat that has become such a staple in Cas’s wardrobe. Dean eventually gets a bite and lands a small trout, but the fish is forgotten when Sam pushes him into the lake.

 

Dean sputters and swims his way to the surface, grabbing Sam’s boot and pulling the moose in with him. The resulting splash soaks Cas from head to toe, and the angel to Dean’s delight, shrugs and jumps in with them. This results in the first (and last, he vows) water fight he’s ever lost. Sam and Cas ganging up on him is just an overpowered team, especially when Cas leaps on Dean and Sam tackles them both in a messy, wet, borderline fatal dogpile. 

 

They climb out of the lake grinning ear-to-ear, and Dean loses it laughing when Sam shakes his hair out like a dog. “Hey, Sam, I know you want a dog but you’re not helping your case by acting like one!”

 

Sam answers by flipping his brother the bird, and Cas tilts his head questioningly, murmuring, “Why can’t Sam have a dog? They’re very loyal, soft, and enjoyable company.”

 

Dean is going to kill Sam for getting to Cas, likely by having him read his “secret” stash of books about dogs and dog training.

 

The day passes quickly, and soon Dean looks up and realizes that the sun had almost completely set while they were sunbathing on the rocks. Dean throws on his damp pants and flannel and shakes Sam to wake him up. “Dude, let’s not get eaten by bears. We should get on the road.”

 

They start walking back through the trees, but had apparently wandered further than they thought since by the time they reach the Impala after a few breaks for water and to rest, it’s three in the morning. Dean pulls Cas aside in a clearing, soft grass under their feet and shadows dancing in the light of their lanterns. The angel had been growing quieter and quieter ever since the sun began to set and the sky was painted purple and orange.

 

“Cas… you okay bud? I know you just got back and all but—”

 

Cas hushes him, his finger resting gently on Dean’s lips as a cold wind blasts through the clearing. The shadows underneath the large pine begin moving fluidly, shaping itself into an abyss with tendrils reaching for Cas. Dean backs away, shouting for Sam who is a few hundred feet away in the Impala unpacking and secretly texting Jack to tell him that Cas is alive and well. Dean’s hand tugs at his friend’s sleeve, but Cas is planted solid, facing the darkness with his back to Dean. 

 

“Cas, come on! Where’s your angel blade?!”

 

“Dean…” Cas trails off as the darkness begins to envelop him. turns to Dean and a distant Sam racing to his brother’s side. “Tell Sam that I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Fleeting happiness, with you, with my friend, it’s better than eternal misery. And Dean, I need you to know—”

 

Dean doesn’t need him to finish. He’s known for longer than he cares to admit. And he refuses to acknowledge that these might be the last words of a desperate man. “I love you too, Cas. Always have, always will. Come with me,” Dean pleads, his hands trembling violently as they reach across the void to Cas. “We can figure this out, we can beat this! I love you!” 

 

Cas smiles softly, sapphire meeting emerald before it is swallowed by the night.

 

Dean falls to his knees in the middle of the imprint of ashen wings, Sam collapsing by his side and holding his brother to his chest. “Dean, we should have—should have known! We should have protected him!”

 

“No Sammy… we never should’ve let him go.”

 

They stay clutching each other until dawn, the rays of sunlight filtering through the trees and bathing the two brothers in gold. The sky will have a new constellation that night, and every lake will hold a new meaning. Every sunrise will be a stab in the chest and with every sunset will bring a new wave of fear. For Sam lost a brother and friend and Dean; he lost his only hope at a future. 

**Author's Note:**

> My twitter is @iconicmisheel if you want to come yell at me. I probably deserve it. Thank you for reading and as always, comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
